Dreams That Remain
by Phoenix Dayze
Summary: The dreams never go away, never change. The friends who betrayed him so long ago a constant strain on Cloud's psyche, forever fed by the opening that Cloud has left them, the one thing that Cloud doesn't see. He's still waiting for someone to save him...


Dreams That Remain  
By: Phoenix Dayze

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters. This is all purely fiction from my own twisted mind, created for the sole purpose of fan entertainment, and meant to be a reflection of respect towards the original work.

_Hard hands held him—pinned him down with effortless abandon. Bruises were forming on the pale skin of his wrists, and the weight of the locked fingers was beginning to burn. Cloud shifted minutely under the strain, his heels digging into the cold floor, seeking purchase, his hips straining to move, to push up… He whimpered. But the man behind him simply held him tighter and Cloud feared that his wrists might break. Tears pricked at his eyes, and he licked his dry lips. "Please…"_

_A low, rumbling chuckle forced Cloud to look up, to meet the devilishly hungry green gaze of the man who loomed over him, the man whose cock was shoved unfeelingly up his ass, the man who rocked forward with short, fierce thrusts, sending Cloud lurching back into the solid wall of the chest behind him as he drew closer and closer to his own unprecedented release, all the while refusing to touch him…_

_"Please!" Cloud begged. It was all too much. His body hurt. His mind whirled with the still slightly foreign disbelief from this unexpected betrayal. His heart was breaking. He struggled, wriggling as much as he could to try and free himself, ignoring the pain that caused in the lower half of his body where his once adored General still roughly plundered him. "Please let me go!"_

_Sephiroth laughed, deep and rich, a contradiction of everything that melted around Cloud's consciousness. "Not just yet, Cloud." He panted. "Hold him, Zack, he's getting edgy."_

_The fingers tightened the already impossibly tight hold on his wrists. Harsh, burning pain streamed down his forearms from the pressure, and Cloud screamed…_

"Hey, wake up, yo!"

Cloud's eyes flew open, his chest heaving. Sweat coated his body, and it took a minute for him to take in the concerned green eyes hovering over him. Green eyes. Cloud blinked. Green eyes full of mischievous sarcasm and mild annoyance. No rough anger. No selfish lust. Not Sephiroth. Reno.

Cloud swallowed thickly around the fear that had been worked up while he slept. He tentatively pulled himself upright, the night before coming back to him in fragments. The fight with Tifa. The rain. The bottle of Tequila… Yes, _that_ he remembered clearly. He'd been locked out of the bar, and then…Reno. He was at Reno's. And Sephiroth and Zack…it had all been just a dream. Just another dream wrenched up from his past.

He ran a shaky hand through his damp hair and sighed. Why did this keep happening? He threw an arm over the back of the couch and tilted his head back, letting his eyes fall closed and he just breathed. He felt the couch dip with the weight of the other man, but for the moment, Cloud couldn't bring himself to question Reno's motives.

Cool fingers touched sparingly against his shoulder, trailing lightly to the juncture of his neck, massaging gently against the sweaty skin. And Cloud just breathed. Reno's voice was low, filled with anything but malice or wicked intent, perhaps…worry. "You okay, man?"

Cloud let out a silent scoff. "No." He let a small, cold smile curve his lips. "But when did that ever matter to anyone?"

The fingers on his neck hesitated, then resumed their movement across the tense muscles. "Cloud…I can't do anything about your past, but right now, in this moment…it matters to me. I wouldn't be here if it didn't."

"Is that right?" A lot of scenarios played in Cloud's head, and none of them were worth thinking. None of them matched the tinge of sincerity that Cloud heard in Reno's voice. What was it that Reno wanted? What was he trying to convey exactly? Maybe…kindness? Cloud wasn't sure he knew what that was anymore, or if he'd recognize it if he did.

The hand moved up to scratch against his scalp, the long fingers carding gently through his hair, and Cloud let out a heavy breath. "Do you ever have…dreams?" Cloud's voice dropped down to a whisper, but he knew that Reno had heard him from the sudden tensing of his fingers, the tightening of the hold on his hair.

Reno's reply was long in coming, but Cloud hadn't expected one at all, so when Reno's voice broke through the silence, Cloud found himself opening his eyes and sliding his gaze over to peer at the red-haired man out of the corner of his eye. "I've done more than a couple things that keep me company at night if that's what you mean."

Cloud didn't say anything, just shifted around on the couch, slouching down until he was more comfortable, running a hand over his bare chest to chase away the slight prickling sensation from the drying sweat. Reno's hand continued to meander through his hair, and all of a sudden Cloud felt so small, so empty and insignificant, and everything that he had suffered seemed to swell and threatened to choke him. Tears stung his eyes as the pain-laced memories curled around his consciousness. "Reno?"

"Yeah?" Reno sounded just as preoccupied, as though he too were having a private retelling of his sins.

"Could I…" Cloud exhaled shakily. "Would you…hold me for a while?"

"Yeah, man." If there was any hesitation on Reno's part, it flowed smoothly into ready acceptance. One slim arm extended out over the edge of the sofa, opening up an available, inviting side for Cloud to curl into.

Cloud slithered over in a way that seemed very much like a frightened child hiding from the monsters under his bed, and in a way, he was. He nuzzled into Reno's side, pressing their skin together, not caring that they were half-naked, just enjoying the sense of warmth that eased through his limbs. He let his head fall down to rest in the crook of Reno's shoulder, his ear pressed flat against the man's chest. He could hear Reno's heart thrumming beneath the tanned skin, and it was oddly comforting.

Reno's arm slipped around his body, cradling him closer, his fingers brushing soothingly against whatever skin they could reach. "_Don't be scared, Cloud. I just need you is all. I need to be with you. You can do that for me, can't you?" A teasingly gentle hand stroked over his skin, forcing sensations to rise unbidden, sensations Cloud knew wouldn't be answered. They never were._

_He pushed a hand against the older man's body, attempting to dislodge him from where he had settled too comfortably between Cloud's thighs. "No, Zack. I…I don't want to. Please…don't make me."_

_Hot, insistent lips against his neck, sucking, pulling, demanding… "Come on, Spikey. If you let me, I promise that this time I'll be gentle…"_

Reno exhaled sharply as a warm tongue pressed against his nipple. His hand tightened on Cloud's shoulder. "Cloud, what are you…what the fuck are you doing?"

Cloud's hand strayed up over Reno's stomach, stroking the firm skin, touching… "I…I need…just let me…" He wriggled to his knees and threw one leg over Reno's hips, straddling the man, his arms winding around the man's neck. He tugged Reno's head forward, ignoring the resistance, and pushed his mouth against Reno's. Wretched heat filtered through Cloud's body, and Cloud let himself be carried away in its pull.

_He could feel the bones snapping as his arm was wrenched backwards to be pressed painfully far up against his back. The ripe agony was almost enough to distract Cloud as his chest was forced down against the surface of the desk, but nowhere near bad enough to pull him away from the searing invasion that suddenly possessed his lower half. Tears leaked from Cloud's eyes as he fought, in vain, to catch a breath. His free hand clawed at the wood of the desk, seeking freedom, help, relief…but finding nothing. Sephiroth pummeled him forward as though their lives hung in the balance, and Cloud felt himself shattering from the inside out. How could Seph do this to him? _

_A familiar voice followed by a flare of hope. Zack would help him! Zack was always taking care of him! He would stop Sephiroth and everything would be okay again! The door opened. "Oh…sorry. I didn't know you were busy. Should I come back later, or are you nearly done?"_

_Cloud's mind whirled and stuttered. What was Zack talking about? Why wasn't he helping him? "Not close enough for you to wait, but you may join me if you like." Sephiroth's voice sounded so very far away, and was only a shadow of the man Cloud had thought him to be. "His mouth has always seemed far too innocent for my taste…"_

_Violet eyes darkened drastically, the pupils dilating almost instantly as Zack peered at Cloud with new thoughts. Heavy, unforgettable steps echoed as his boots clunked nearer, the scent of Zack's arousal so strong that, had Cloud been able to breathe, he would have choked on it. _

_An echo in a long tunnel. "…I'd like to watch…" And a thick, warm organ forced its way into his mouth, and the euphoric shudder that seized Zack's body told Cloud all there was to tell…_

Cloud forced his tongue between Reno's lips, and groaned when he encountered an angry tongue on the other side, then whimpered as teeth clamped down around him, drawing blood, but he didn't let that stop him, not yet. He could feel it…

_Fear thrummed through Cloud's heart as he watched bright, crimson blood drizzle down his forearm, thick, undisguised horror nearly stopping his heart. "Seph…?" He swallowed the best he could around the growing knot in his throat. "What are you doing?" Harsh pain seized his other wrist as Sephiroth laid down a matching, inch-long slice across Cloud's vein. He cried out as fresh blood climbed to daylight. "Seph…" He whimpered, "I'm sorry!"_

_Sephiroth looked down at him with eyes full of twisted amusement, the green flaring with a vicious hunger. "Don't apologize, Cloud, you've done nothing wrong. I'm just upping the ante a bit." A cold, malicious smile. "Don't worry, if you're good, if you _behave_, I should be able to find my pleasure before the bleeding becomes fatal."_

_A thick cock ripped its way into Cloud's body, and Cloud would have screamed, but his vision was going blurry around the edges, and there was a heavy weight across his chest. He could feel his energy draining away. "Please," Cloud whispered, "please. I don't want to die…"_

"I don't want to die."

The statement yanked Reno out of his haze of angry defense, and he was shocked to see vacant, pain-choked eyes as Cloud pulled back. Cloud's fingers twitched against his lips and came away covered with a thin veil of blood, and Cloud seemed to be drawn in, focusing on it without seeing. Reno watched with growing concern as Cloud's body began to tense and shrink away, to recoil muscle by muscle until he nearly toppled off Reno's lap.

Reno grabbed Cloud's arm to keep him from falling, and Cloud let out a choked, gasping sob. "I'm sorry! I'll do whatever you want, just…please, don't hurt me anymore!"

Reno released his hold instantly, giving Cloud the freedom to move where he willed, but he wasn't overly surprised when Cloud stayed where he was. Whoever had given Cloud cause to speak such heart-rending words had trained him well. Anger boiled in Reno's blood, a thick ache pressing against his heart. Someone had hurt Cloud! Hurt him in a way that had him completely shaken and begging for his life countless years later! Cloud Strife was by no means the strongest or most secure man Reno had ever met, but he knew him well enough to know that the man would never let his emotional guard down in front of anyone, least of all him. Cloud had always been the shadow, the enigma, the silence behind everything, and now… It seemed that behind the reluctant hero and the brooding youth, behind the careless, antisocial, seemingly disinterested asshole that did business with the Turks, underneath all the layers of façade and confusion, Cloud had actually been hiding something…

Reno took a few deep breaths, licking his lips. What was he supposed to do?

tbc…


End file.
